


it's so hard to blame you

by xxELF21xx



Series: The Countdown [3]
Category: Helix Waltz (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Lowercase, Mandaria Illusion, Self-Esteem Issues, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 18:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20178745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxELF21xx/pseuds/xxELF21xx
Summary: Yun Zhe never sees himself as the bigger man.





	it's so hard to blame you

**Author's Note:**

> im back babey

_is it easier to stay,_

he asks for her to remain by his side, a strong and unwavering anchor amidst the storm in the general hall. hesitant, she does, fists curling and relaxing as politicians argue over reforms and laws. he doesn't know what he's doing, allowing a concubine whose name became a curse and taboo linger next to him.

_i_s_ it easier to go?_

her voice is strong and wistful, as she spins tales of a foreign land in the west. his heart constricts as she stumbles on certain words, mainly names and emotions, teeth sinking into flesh as she stops herself from crying. is he trapping her here, with him, when she deserved more?

_i don't wanna know, oh_

he never directly addresses any of the men that are considered inferior to his blood, but when he sees her talking to the prime minister, laughing at something trivial and being so... at ease..... pain swells up in his lungs as if the heavens is punishing him for tarnishing a poetic scene. he wonders, if she could be this calm with him. but it would be safer to think of the country he's inherited, so he stops thinking.

_but i know that i'm never, ever gonna change_

he's still arrogant, trying to fit into his ancestors' robes and act as if the court doesn't treat him with baby guards. his advisors give him the easy way out, yet he insists on taking the brunt of the work. he thinks this will help him mature, make himself a better man that can be relied on. but he sees the way she looks at him change, and suddenly he can't remember what he's doing.

_and you know you don't want it any other way_

she doesn't approach him any more than she should, attending formal functions with her head bowed and her eyes on the floor. she doesn't look at him unless ordered, much less visits him. she is in his harem, under his protection, but he is unable to seek her and comfort her; hearing of her injuries yet his fingers are unable to brush away her tears.

_the hardest part of all, is that we're built to fall_

he weeps in the presence of no one, when she ultimately leaves from illness. and the cycle, as he knows it, repeats with everyone else he's close to. he hates himself. he really does.

**Author's Note:**

> is this the first MI fic? please say no;;


End file.
